The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
John Gottman, PhD, Silver Nan
A pioneering marriage researcher distills decades of empirical study into seven specific, evidence-based principles for building a lasting, satisfying marriage.
Key takeaways
- Predicting Divorce With Remarkable Accuracy
- The Four Horsemen of Relationship Apocalypse
- Building Love Maps and Fondness
- Turning Toward Instead of Away
- Accepting Influence and Solving Solvable Problems
- Creating Shared Meaning
Final takeaway
Gottman's consistent, research-grounded argument throughout the book is that genuinely successful long-term marriage requires this combination of avoiding specific destructive communication patterns, maintaining ongoing genuine knowledge and appreciation of one's partner, consistently engaging with everyday bids for connection, appropriately accepting partner influence, distinguishing solvable from perpetual conflicts, and ultimately building genuine shared meaning together — a comprehensive framework directly derived from his extensive observational research rather than theoretical assumption alone.
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