bell hooks opens by defining love not as a spontaneous emotion but as the intentional nurturing of another's spiritual growth — a definition borrowed from psychiatrist M. Scott Peck and expanded throughout the book.

Why this definition matters:

• Shifts love from something that "happens to you" to something you actively practice and choose
• Makes love a standard you can be held accountable to, not just a feeling you either have or don't
• Distinguishes real love from attachment, infatuation, or mere affection

This reframe underlies every subsequent chapter — hooks repeatedly returns to whether a given relationship or behavior meets this active, growth-oriented standard.