Morin, drawing on her clinical work as a therapist, identifies self-pity as one of the most seductive and destructive habits people fall into after a setback.

Why it's so seductive:

• Feels emotionally validating in the moment
• Actually reinforces a sense of helplessness and victimhood that makes recovery harder

She distinguishes self-pity from legitimate grief — the issue isn't feeling bad about a bad situation, but dwelling in that feeling as an identity or excuse rather than a temporary response to process and move through. Mentally strong people allow themselves to feel disappointment but actively redirect attention toward what can still be controlled or acted upon, rather than ruminating on unfairness.