Health
Come as You Are
Emily Nagoski, PhD
4.1 (175000) 8 min read 5 key ideas
A sex educator's science-based, body-positive explanation of female sexual desire and why so much common wisdom about it is wrong.
Key takeaways
- Every Woman's Sexuality Is Normal for Her
- Dual Control: Accelerator and Brakes
- Context Matters More Than Innate Desire Level
- Stress Completion Affects Sexual Wellbeing Directly
- Self-Compassion Replaces Self-Judgment About Sexual Response
Action checklist
- Identify one accelerator or brake affecting your sexual desire today
- Reduce one stressor today that's acting as a 'brake' on wellbeing and intimacy
- Practice self-compassion today about your own body and desire, rather than comparing to a norm
Final takeaway
Nagoski's closing invitation: apply the accelerator/brakes framework to your own specific situation with curiosity and self-compassion, rather than self-judgment, when addressing any sexual concerns.
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